theplaymaker

You could have backtracked at any point.

Do you know what's part of the problem with wanting things? It's that you have to actually know what you want.

[She kisses his cheek and reaches for the spoon again.]

Time to figure it out.

Could have would have should have, and yet I didn't. What does that tell you?

[There's a heavy sigh and he hands over the spoon, nuzzling at her face briefly because he's being clingy.]

How am I supposed to figure out what I want when I usually have everything?

Gee, Ryan, that makes me feel so sorry for you.

I don't know what that tells anyone. You've been wanting Chad for over a year and when you had him, it wasn't worth it? What does that tell you?

[...time to feed him more ice cream, apparently.]

That...I'm exactly like my sister? [He'll just let her feed him ice cream and shut up for the moment.]

No, you're not. She never really got what she want in that area, did she? Well, maybe now.

Because she was going after Troy. But she still tried to destroy people. I guess maybe I'm the better twin because I actually succeeded. Funny, huh?

You never tried to destroy anyone, Ryan. And you don't have to keep comparing yourself to Sharpay. You're sweet, that's why I like you. That and your fabulous hair. Also you can hit really high notes, very endearing quality to a songwriter.

I knew you only kept me around for my talents. [He's shifting so that his head is on her shoulder instead.] I still did it and I ruined him. Why do I ruin good people? [He's going to just be feeling sorry for himself for a few minutes.]

I must have lost the memo on who else you 'ruined'. And you shouldn't talk about people like they are toys. You didn't ruin him, ruined people don't go to see Hairspray. They go to see the Phantom, maybe.

We're not even going to talk about everything wrong with that sentence.

...sorry, habit. I'm not handling this well, am I? I should just...let him go. Let him move on.

I really don't know, Ryan, it depends on what you want. If you want Chad back, go for it. But keep in mind what that will mean.

It means breaking up with someone who is literally the most perfect match for me?

Even your sister likes Jack. And it'd also mean having to deal with Chad's coming out.

Sharpay likes Jack because he knew the difference between her last season Maddens and her this season Choos. [A beat.] ...well he came out to Troy. That counts for something, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does. He came out to his parents, too, according to Gabi. And I don't even doubt that he'll come out in general sooner or later, from what you showed me. But my point is that coming out won't make his life easier, at least not for a long time. You and Jack, here in New York with our friends, well. Gaylandia, I think Troy called it?

[He chuckles.] Gaylandia, indeed. [He's just sliding from her shoulder and laying on his back on the floor then.]

You're right though. It won't be easy for him and that means it won't be easy for me which sucks. Am I making a mistake by even considering trying this thing with Chad again when Jack's right here, hot and willing? Or am I smart for being so consistent in my crush on Chad?

I don't know if a crush is ever smart.

It goes back to my initial point. You just have to figure out what you want and, no, it can't be all.

[She looks at him and sighs.]

[He looks thoughtful for a moment]

Why not?

Because if you try to date both Jack and Chad at the same time karma will kick you in the balls. Or me, if karma lets me down.

Other people do it all the time!

Oh my God, Ryan, will you stop and listen to yourself?!

[He shuts up for a second...pause...reflect...and he looks vaguely mollified suddenly.]

...oh. I...oh. God, what am I doing...? This is crazy. This is completely crazy, it's Chad Danforth. We're not at East anymore, this shouldn't even be a problem.

What shouldn't even be a problem?

[But since he's stopped talking like a huge asshole, Kelsi actually goes back to petting his hair.]

Being in love with Chad. I'm not in high school anymore. I know I wish I was but I need to grow up and move on. Everyone else did. I can't just keep chasing something that isn't going to work out, it's not fair to anybody. Why am I still in love with him? I haven't even seen him since Troy's party. [But there's a slightly comforted sound at the hair-petting.]

Because you've been dreaming about him for a long time and you probably still think he'd magically make everything better when Jack is having a not perfect moment.

That and he admittedly doesn't look bad.

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