theplaymaker

I don't know if a crush is ever smart.

It goes back to my initial point. You just have to figure out what you want and, no, it can't be all.

[She looks at him and sighs.]

[He looks thoughtful for a moment]

Why not?

Because if you try to date both Jack and Chad at the same time karma will kick you in the balls. Or me, if karma lets me down.

Other people do it all the time!

Oh my God, Ryan, will you stop and listen to yourself?!

[He shuts up for a second...pause...reflect...and he looks vaguely mollified suddenly.]

...oh. I...oh. God, what am I doing...? This is crazy. This is completely crazy, it's Chad Danforth. We're not at East anymore, this shouldn't even be a problem.

What shouldn't even be a problem?

[But since he's stopped talking like a huge asshole, Kelsi actually goes back to petting his hair.]

Being in love with Chad. I'm not in high school anymore. I know I wish I was but I need to grow up and move on. Everyone else did. I can't just keep chasing something that isn't going to work out, it's not fair to anybody. Why am I still in love with him? I haven't even seen him since Troy's party. [But there's a slightly comforted sound at the hair-petting.]

Because you've been dreaming about him for a long time and you probably still think he'd magically make everything better when Jack is having a not perfect moment.

That and he admittedly doesn't look bad.

Maybe. I've been in love with him since the summer after junior year. I have an easy time saying I've been in love, but not actually "I love him." I think it's weird. Love is for people like Troy and Gabi. Not me.

I want it though…I want it a lot.

He's hot. He's hot and funny and ridiculously naive in all of the ways I'm not and the sad thing is I know he would have done everything I asked of him if I'd been patient enough. This is sort of my own demise.

You'd make a great couple, but for that you'd have to be willing to work it out and wait it out. Which does include being 2000 miles away from him and not really able to actively help each other.

It would also mean no sex for you. Because I doubt you could talk him into an open relationship.

Love can be for everyone. It's just a matter of luck and commitment.

That would be my crux. I'm slutty and yet I'm clingy.

...you know that that's the only real difference between Jack and Chad? Jack's here. And Jack's kind of an amazing lover and I guess I'll find out if I can handle celibacy when I'm on the road.

I've got more skill than luck. What then?

I don't know, I think they'd both agree that there are a couple more differences. Are you sure you'll actually be celibate while on tour?

And I think the luck is mostly just needed to find someone. Then it's a matter of compromising and figuring things out.

[And suddenly everything is less important as he hones in on something, and he reaches up to stop her hand in his hair]

Are you asking me if I think I can keep from cheating on my boyfriend while I'm away?

I think you can do whatever you want, Ryan.

I'm asking you if you think you'll want to.

What the fuck, Kels. Why is that a question? Obviously if I'm in a relationship I'm not going to. [and so begins round two of "Ryan you're not making sense."]

I should start writing down everything you say in a conversation so I can read it back to you.

You were talking about dating two guys at once without letting them know just a few minutes ago.

...[He's just going to drag both of his hands down his face and roll on the floor for a moment.] Dating is seriously the worst idea I've ever had. I liked when I was still in the closet and focused on my dancing. That was nice. That was easy.

You're such a drama queen. [She takes Ryan's problems very seriously, really, but sometimes it's just really funny.]

Okay let me ask you this. [But he pauses long enough to pinch her leg. Rude.] If you had two really, really attractive men vying for your attention and you were vying for theirs and they were both legitimately perfect with flaws, and yes, Kelsi, I am aware that's not possible, how would you choose the right one? I've never had to make choices. I always get my first pick. I've never had to have options.

[Alright, now she's laughing.] Are your diamond shoes too tight, too?

[But focus, this is her friend after all.]

Follow your heart, I'd say. But what do I know, I want to write musicals for a living.

Don't be a bitch. [He's suddenly pulling the ice cream out of her hand and knocking her over, squirming so that he's trapping her against his chest and Kelsi has essentially become a cuddle-pillow.

You signed up for this, Kelsi. Good luck.]

...but I like musicals. Musicals make sense and everybody gets a happily ever after, mostly. Sort of. Maybe 50/50.

[She does try to escape, but the thing about being a tiny girl means that it doesn't really make any difference if your best friend happens to be a lithely built dancer type, she still doesn't stand a chance.

And she's not really trying that hard.]

Hm. Let's think about it again. You have a boyfriend and you think he's perfect. You already broke Chad's heart once. Kind of in a shattering and stomping on it way and, yes, I know I helped talk you into it and I stand by all I said, but...

Might be best not to repeat it.

[He's just force-cuddling at the moment because he knows she's right. She's right and he really, really doesn't like it.]

...yeah maybe not. The cool thing is that he turned me down from hanging out outside of the show, so maybe I won't actually have to talk to him.

[A beat.] Well. It's not cool. I just want my friend back at this point but it's always going to be awkward now.

Hey, you never know. We're pretty good friends, wouldn't you say?

[She doesn't really mind the cuddling at all, not when it's obvious that Ryan needs it. And it's not as if it's not nice.]

Maybe if we can hang out as a group.

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