Troy not alone in New York

[theplaymaker]

When Kelsi arrived at Chad's dorm she was out of breath, but at least it hadn't taken her long. She still couldn't quite wrap her mind around it. Troy? Here? That was just crazy. But somehow, at the same time, so very, very Troy.

She knocked at the door and waited for him to open, debating how to greet him. Was hugging inappropriate, so soon after everything? Whatever. He'd just have to deal.

Comments

[hoopsandharmonies]

He had moved his plate enough to allow for the extra space Kelsi suddenly took up. It wasn't too terribly surprising that he was receiving attention from both her and Chad but at the same time he wasn't sure this is what he needed. Wanted, yes, absolutely, but he needed to get his head back in the game. He could already hear his dad drilling pep talks in his head about his future and it was kind of harder to ignore now that his future was changing again.

So instead of trying to pull away he just sort of stayed where he was in Kelsi's arms, allowing a hand to pet his hair and coddle him as he allowed his thoughts to drift in and out.

"…pianos and puppies. I think I get it now." It was sweet in a weird way. But that was also Jason to a T. Sweet in a weird way. Troy had seen what Jason was capable of in terms of self-awareness (because hey, he didn't know the stuff about dolphins), and he knew that they were friends…and he knew that Jason would have taken Kelsi to the prom if Ryan hadn't beaten him to the punch. Somehow Troy had become a secret-keeper for a lot of the Wildcats. "You and me are similar that way, huh? We know how to fix everything for everybody but ourselves."

As soon as she started talking about Gabriella though he went stiff in her arms, clearly still a little unnerved by the conversation. Gabriella was such a sensitive subject.

"I know. I know she is but why couldn't she…" He didn't have a very valid argument. "I could fit in if she let me. I know Gabriella's always wanted to fit in and I know that was her thing at East but…" He was having a hard time really explaining everything, and he knew that there was a lot he should be telling Chad, not Kelsi, but Chad had his own stuff to figure out and Troy was mostly at a loss.

"I love California, but it's not New Mexico. I'm kind of out of my league, too." Troy knew he was a big fish in a small pond back home, but at UCB he was just a little fish in a goddamn ocean and it was mildly terrifying. "I just wish she'd talk to me about it instead of making decisions by herself."

And then suddenly things started falling into place in his head. Whether they were correct or not, he didn't have a clue, but they were scary possibilities. There was a sharp inhale through his nose and his grip on Kelsi tightened a bit so she couldn't pull back to look at his face.

"…maybe she met somebody else that helped her fit in better."

[theplaymaker]

It didn't surprise Kelsi that the possibility hadn't occurred to Troy before. It seemed so obvious, but it would be beyond painful for him to even consider. It was beyond painful for him right now.

Kelsi kindly told the voice in her head that was starting to compose a song to shut up and stop being insensitive because she was trying to be a good friend here. Sometimes being who she was really wasn't all that easy.

"I don't know if she has, Troy. But it's possible. But even if she hasn't and things will be back to normal soon, at the very least this helped you realize some things you might not have otherwise. You can't just live for her, Troy. It's not good for you and not fair to her, either. Do you know what I mean?"

[hoopsandharmonies]

Painful barely began to cover it, honestly. Now that the possibility was there there was the whole plethora of emotions and insecurities that crept up to the surface much like they had a few years ago when he had tough decisions to make. Indecision never really was Troy's best friend and right now it clung to him like a second skin.

Gabriella would have said something, wouldn't she? Why would she even be looking at other guys? He was so good about not looking at other girls (though the helpful part of his brain supplied it was because he was so happy with her that there was no need to.) Did that mean she wasn't happy with him? He could fix that. He could fix that if she told him what was going on but she was hiding things from him and that's what was driving him crazy and it didn't even occur to him how brutal this was when his entire life was shaped around Gabriella and why couldn't she see that this was not the answer when all they really had to do was just--

Ow. There was a deep, painful stab in his chest suddenly as he remained stuck on that thought.

"…I'm not just living for her but we talked about this, Kels…we planned our future together. Why's that so bad?"

[theplaymaker]

"That's not bad at all, Troy. But if you're sure about the future and she isn't yet, then to her... It's as if you depend on her to be exactly the way you need her to be. You know what I mean." He had to get that, she couldn't really put it any plainer. She didn't want to say any of it at all, because hurting Troy was like kicking a puppy. No wonder she was still hugging him.

[hoopsandharmonies]

There was a shaky sigh in response but he didn't say anything. Kelsi was right, that wasn't a question. He just didn't want to hear it on top of everything else. Chad wasn't the only one who had a problem with change; while Chad outright refused it, Troy usually knew how to adapt. When he didn't though, it was hard to even fathom how to cope.

"…I'm mostly sure about the future. I have to talk to my dad first." Which was a whole other problem he wasn't even aware he had. But he knew he couldn't get away with really mapping a future without telling Coach. "But I don't need her to change anything about herself. She's perfect the way she is."

[theplaymaker]

"But you do know that your father doesn't have all the answers either, right? Just making sure." Kelsi slowly pulled back, still looking at Troy but no longer hugging him tightly the way she had. At least he seemed to be calming down a bit after the initial outburst.

"Being perfect to someone isn't easy, I imagine. It means you can't fail them, doesn't it?"

[hoopsandharmonies]

Despite the fact that she pulled back, he was doing his best not to look her in the eye even though he was acting pretty calm now. "I know he doesn't." No, he actually didn't know that. But that seemed to be what Kelsi wanted to hear so that's what he'd say. He'd figure out the rest later, really.

"…I know. She doesn't have to be perfect because her flaws are perfect to me, too." It was then that he realized (or he thought he realized) what Kelsi was doing. "…okay wait a minute. That's not fair, Kelsi. That's putting the word perfect to be literal. I think she's perfect but that doesn't mean she has to struggle to be exactly perfect. Get it?"

[theplaymaker]

"I don't think that's fair, either, Troy. So you have to ask yourself whether she gets it. It's not me who needs to." She hesitated, then put a hand on Troy's cheek and tried to get him to look at her. "Get it?"

Why people kept coming to her with things like this she'd never know. She didn't really want to hurt Troy, no one could ever want to hurt Troy, but someone had to point such things out to him. Might as well be her.

[hoopsandharmonies]

He knew she was purposefully being gentle and while he appreciated it, he still wasn't pleased with the news. He resisted the movement of his head a bit, frown etched into his features.

"No." Again, point-blank. He actually didn't understand what she was asking him, it wasn't a refusal to the question. "What am I supposed to do, Kelsi?"

[theplaymaker]

"What you're saying is that you'll love her no matter how she is, even while she figures herself out. What she is seeing is probably that she has to be exactly who you love." She was going to start bringing diagrams with her, maybe that would make these things easier.

[hoopsandharmonies]

He finally pulled back enough to scrub his hands over his face, keeping his eyes covered for a moment as he tried to come up with a good answer.

"…so what you're saying is that I have to leave her alone until she figures out I'll love her no matter what."

[theplaymaker]

If it had been Ryan, Kelsi would have broken out into a certain My Fair Lady song right about now, but she highly doubted that Troy would entirely get that and she didn't want to undo the progress they were making.

"Exactly. I think that is what you have to do."

[hoopsandharmonies]

It was a good thing she didn't because he definitely would have missed the point. He didn't uncover his face just yet, massaging his eyes and his temples before dropping his hands in his lap.

Troy Bolton was, for a word, completely defeated.

"…Chad said I should try to make her jealous because that's what worked for Ryan. But I can't hurt her like that. Tell me that's a bad idea."

[theplaymaker]

"That's a terrible idea!" She was surrounded by people with terrible ideas, apparently. "That can maybe work for people like Ryan and Chad, because let's face it, they both secretly love being overly dramatic, but it's never a good idea and promise me you won't ever take Chad's love advice without checking with me first."

[hoopsandharmonies]

"Yeah, I noticed. I already told him it was a bad idea!" He held up his hands in a defensive position, but there was a funny little grin on his face. He's still not amused and really more than anything he wants to just start screaming at the world not being fair, but it was probably a good idea not to.

"…fine. I'll just have to wait." He worried at his lower lip, looking away from her again. "…everything still really, really hurts. That's okay too, right?"

[theplaymaker]

"That's okay, Troy. That's normal. That sucks, but that's normal." Kelsi put a hand on Troy's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, wishing there was anything else she could do and drawing a blank. But at least, maybe, she had gotten through to him. Made it worse for the moment, perhaps, but at least it might fix things in the long run.

"I'm glad you're here, you know. Even under the circumstances."

[hoopsandharmonies]

Normal. Usually he really liked that word, but currently he was a little unsettled. He gave her a slightly helpless grin as he nodded in response.

Time heals all wounds, etcetera etcetera. This was just going to take a long, long time.

"Yeah, me too." He couldn't help but laugh a bit though. "Somehow any time Chad and I break up with people we tend to find each other, and I think I'm just now noticing that's weird." He finally looked back, meeting her eyes. "But I wanted to see you, too. So…I'm glad the three of us are together. It'll be a good break."

[theplaymaker]

"That's not weird, that's because you're best friends. I call Ryan when I can't find a pen just to let him know I'm upset, so I think you're all good." Kelsi nodded and smiled as he finally looked at her. Maybe this could work out after all.

"You guys can go play basketball today. Show his kids how it's done. Then we can meet up, if you want, and you could sing some songs for me."

[hoopsandharmonies]

"You guys can go play basketball today. Show his kids how it's done. Then we can meet up, if you want, and you could sing some songs for me."

That got a genuine laugh out of him at least. "I'll never understand you artist types." Never mind the fact that he was technically an artist, too.

"He mentioned he wanted to show the kids how it's done. I'm totally okay with kicking his butt on the court." But he looked a little more excited about the idea of singing a little. "I think that sounds like the best plan I've heard all week."

[theplaymaker]

"I think you understand us perfectly. One of us now, remember?" Kelsi laughed, because she could see that Troy was looking forward to singing and that made her job so much easier and more inspiring. She was definitely looking forward to it as well.

"That doesn't surprise me, seeing as your other plan this week was to drive all the way to New York with your truck."

[hoopsandharmonies]

"I understand to a point," he corrected her, knowing he still couldn't bullshit her. He got up from the bench then to throw away his trash, wiping his hands on his jeans (well, Chad's jeans) before sitting again.

"I had bigger plans but those plans changed." He shrugged. "…speaking of, you don't know a good mechanic do you?"

[theplaymaker]

"I don't know any mechanic, I don't own a car. But we can probably ask some people from school. Or ask Chad about it, chances are his kids know a thing or two about cars." Like stealing them, to be honest, but she supposed they might also have more knowledge. Like illegal racing or things that she didn't just know from probably very faulty Hollywood movies. At least she was aware of cliches influencing her.

[hoopsandharmonies]

He just rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. I'll figure it out later. Not like I'm leaving right away anyway." He reached into his pocket for his phone before realizing again it wasn't there.

"What time is it? Close to Chad being out of class?"

As much as he liked Kelsi, he was anxious to have both of them nearby.

[theplaymaker]

Kelsi took that as a good moment to pull out her own phone, quickly sending a text to Chad to let him know where they were and checking the time.

"He should be out in about ten minutes, so he'll be here soon. Sick of me already?"

[hoopsandharmonies]

"Definitely not." He bounced his leg on the ground as he looked at their surroundings again. Now that he was out of his cloud...New York wasn't looking so bad.

"You're definitely coming out with us again after we hang out with his kids. Just letting you know."