Did everybody but me know that Chad was in California?!
Um...so he was in my dressing room...and we made out. And then we made out some more. And now we're going back to my hotel to eat and probably make out some more.
Um. We sort of talked. He told me he wants to be with me and I told him we had to talk about it instead of continuing to make out in my dressing room....
I'm freaked out. He just told me he wants to leave U of A to come to New York and figure out his life because he wants to be with me. Tell me that's actually not that scary and that it's flattering.
He was like "I want to talk to you again. I want to flirt with you. I want to do a hell of a lot things we didn't do yet because I wanna be with you and you wanna be with me, too. And you have to stop talking yourself out of that."
And I was like "What makes you think I'm talking myself out of anything?"
And he said some stuff, and I said some stuff and...then we made out some more. And then he was like "I want you to be mine" and he started talking about how he didn't know what he wanted in the future except for me.
So I'm freaked...because if I hurt him again there goes his ENTIRE future.
Yes, he really is in love with you. But you knew that, Ryan.
You are not all he wants, it's just that coming out has taken the one thing he always wanted from him. I've seen some comments on his wall from team mates.
Chad is driven, just like we are. You know that. You like that. He needs a new ambition, I guess. Or find a way to keep the old one. But he doesn't want to be alone in that. And he does want you.
Some are just ignorant, some are insulting. Troy actually got in an argument once. Jason, too, and if there's a sweeter guy than Jason in the world I can't even imagine.
You don't get him to anything. But you can make sure he's not alone. And, you know. Having you might make the being gay thing feel better.
Jason's your kinda-ex and so you're kinda biased. Doesn't surprise me that Prince Troy rushed to his defense but I'm glad they were both combatting for him. He needs it.
....that's what he said to me actually. That the upside of being gay would be having me.
That doesn't mean it's not true! Jason is very sweet and just lucky that I don't live anywhere near him. Also that I turn twelve around him, there's that.
This is not about me.
Break-ups always hurt, Ryan. But it's not as if you two weren't hurting after you never really tried, too. But trying means that you could work it out. Work things out.
(no subject)
30/3/14 00:22 (UTC)Now tell me more!
(no subject)
30/3/14 00:34 (UTC)Um...so he was in my dressing room...and we made out. And then we made out some more. And now we're going back to my hotel to eat and probably make out some more.
(no subject)
30/3/14 00:39 (UTC)Did you only make out or did you talk too? Because I think you have to talk.
(no subject)
30/3/14 00:44 (UTC)Um. We sort of talked. He told me he wants to be with me and I told him we had to talk about it instead of continuing to make out in my dressing room....
(no subject)
30/3/14 00:45 (UTC)Send me a list of things you want to clarify before you do more making out.
(no subject)
30/3/14 00:49 (UTC)(no subject)
30/3/14 00:53 (UTC)But I can understand him, last time you two agreed on taking it slow... Well.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:00 (UTC)He was like "I want to talk to you again. I want to flirt with you. I want to do a hell of a lot things we didn't do yet because I wanna be with you and you wanna be with me, too. And you have to stop talking yourself out of that."
And I was like "What makes you think I'm talking myself out of anything?"
And he said some stuff, and I said some stuff and...then we made out some more. And then he was like "I want you to be mine" and he started talking about how he didn't know what he wanted in the future except for me.
So I'm freaked...because if I hurt him again there goes his ENTIRE future.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:03 (UTC)(no subject)
30/3/14 01:07 (UTC)He's really in love with me Kelsi I don't
I can't
SOS?
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:14 (UTC)You are not all he wants, it's just that coming out has taken the one thing he always wanted from him. I've seen some comments on his wall from team mates.
Chad is driven, just like we are. You know that. You like that. He needs a new ambition, I guess. Or find a way to keep the old one. But he doesn't want to be alone in that. And he does want you.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:19 (UTC)How am I supposed to help him? I can't exactly get him to take up dancing or anything.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:22 (UTC)You don't get him to anything. But you can make sure he's not alone. And, you know. Having you might make the being gay thing feel better.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:26 (UTC)....that's what he said to me actually. That the upside of being gay would be having me.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:31 (UTC)This is not about me.
Break-ups always hurt, Ryan. But it's not as if you two weren't hurting after you never really tried, too. But trying means that you could work it out. Work things out.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:46 (UTC)...I know. I think I'm just not sure what trying would consist of since we're still far apart.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:47 (UTC)He's kind of offering to fix precisely that.
(no subject)
30/3/14 01:58 (UTC)I won't even be back until December...
(no subject)
30/3/14 02:02 (UTC)Well, take him on tour with you. He can be your personal assistant.
Seriously though, if you agree on it and he builds a life for himself here while you're gone, isn't that what you'd want?
(no subject)
30/3/14 02:17 (UTC)Because you know Chad. You just said yourself that Chad's driven. If I tell him he has a chance he'll wait for me.
(no subject)
30/3/14 02:20 (UTC)I'm failing to see how that is a problem.
(no subject)
30/3/14 02:24 (UTC)He won't grow that way.
(no subject)
30/3/14 02:28 (UTC)Do you think that's true of Troy and Gabriella?
(no subject)
30/3/14 02:43 (UTC)(no subject)
30/3/14 02:46 (UTC)(no subject)
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