Page Summary
choreographics - Can't even fathom song lyrics, it's THAT BAD
theplaymaker - I'll provide things I'm working on
choreographics - Please do
theplaymaker - living in somebody's shadow and then stepping out to shine
choreographics - ...hah. Sounds like me and Sharpay.
theplaymaker - there's no need to take it slow when everything can be mine
choreographics - ...these are new ones? I like it
theplaymaker - leave behind whatever I don't need and keep whatever I want
choreographics - You...wrote me a theme song didn't you.
theplaymaker - larger than life, stronger than you, unaffected, nonchalant
choreographics - I wish I knew the rest so I could sing along
theplaymaker - the show must go on and it always will
choreographics - I'm starting to lose my mind a little...
theplaymaker - but beneath all that I am myself still
choreographics - And it's not a me I want to see
theplaymaker - and I might act brave and try to be strong
choreographics - ...but in the end? I was wrong.
theplaymaker - while deep down I just want to belong
choreographics - Let's face it, I'm just not that strong
theplaymaker - Oh, Ryan...
choreographics - ...<3
theplaymaker - <3!
choreographics - <3!!! Seriously I don't have enough emotes to express it
theplaymaker - I also take applause!
choreographics - You'll get some soon, promise
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Can't even fathom song lyrics, it's THAT BAD
27/3/14 17:15 (UTC)WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK????????
I'll provide things I'm working on
27/3/14 17:17 (UTC)Now from the start.
Please do
27/3/14 17:25 (UTC)Okay. Okay so I posted about the Hairspray tour on Facebook and he sent me an email and was all HEY would you mind seeing me when you're in town and I'm like UH DUH and then we started talking about stuff and then he mentioned he'd let me know if he needed two tickets and I sort of just ignored it because for all I know he could be bringing Troy but then he was suddenly like hey I want to ask you something but I don't know if I should and me being me was like "SURE CHAD IT'S OKAY" and then he dropped that on me.
Holy shit. I'm going to be sick. Everything is suddenly very, very wrong in the world.
living in somebody's shadow and then stepping out to shine
27/3/14 17:31 (UTC)...
Do you want me to point out that you're dating Jack?
...hah. Sounds like me and Sharpay.
27/3/14 17:37 (UTC)...no, I know. I know. I like Jack a lot, I know. But Jack and I are kind of arguing but not really it'll be fine. Make-up sex later. This is just really, really unsettling. It's Chad...I just. That means it's really over.
there's no need to take it slow when everything can be mine
27/3/14 17:40 (UTC)I don't know how to say this any other way. Ryan, I love you, but how did you expect it to not be really over after what you did? I'm not saying you didn't do the right thing.
...these are new ones? I like it
27/3/14 17:49 (UTC)I don't
Maybe I just thought that
I haven't seen him since Troy's party maybe I thought in person we could just
I literally just want to scream. A lot.
leave behind whatever I don't need and keep whatever I want
27/3/14 17:51 (UTC)Do you actually want me to come over?
Has he actually said that there's a guy?
You...wrote me a theme song didn't you.
27/3/14 17:55 (UTC)larger than life, stronger than you, unaffected, nonchalant
27/3/14 17:58 (UTC)Let's say there is no guy. What would that change?
I wish I knew the rest so I could sing along
27/3/14 18:03 (UTC)…I'm emailing him while I'm emailing you and he just told me there's no guy. I don't feel any different AND I just started rambling to him about bulimia.
This has been a fantastic day.
It wouldn't change anything I guess. I still feel like I just got suckerpunched which is weird because I have Jack. I shouldn't feel like this, right?
the show must go on and it always will
27/3/14 18:08 (UTC)...why would you bring up bulimia? Oh, Ryan.
No, you shouldn't feel like this, but if feelings were rational I'd have nothing to write about.
You haven't changed your Facebook status, Ryan, and you were upset at Chad for not changing his.
I'm starting to lose my mind a little...
27/3/14 18:14 (UTC)Because I'm an idiot and I let stupid things slip I don't know Kelsi. I am freaking out.
And obviously we can't have that. Your writing's a gift to the world. I'm happy to provide new material for your songs.
…Jack and I talked about it though. Chad didn't tell me anything. That's the difference.
but beneath all that I am myself still
27/3/14 18:18 (UTC)You're such a self-sacrificing hero! ♥
Didn't Chad change his status from single to It's Complicated? And he did tell you, it just wasn't the change you wanted to see. I bet Jack was really happy with that talk, too.
And it's not a me I want to see
27/3/14 18:25 (UTC)Thank you, thank you. Self-sacrificing, self-deprecating, it's all the same.
Yes but he did it without telling me first. Jack and I fought about it for a while at least. You know. Like a normal couple.
…my relationships are so screwed up aren't they? Did I tell you that Jack told me he loves me the other day and I said "aw, that's sweet?" Like what the fuck.
Maybe it's a good thing I'm going on tour in May.
and I might act brave and try to be strong
27/3/14 18:29 (UTC)I suspect he saw changing it as a big gesture, not the punch to the gut you felt. He's oblivious a lot.
When Chad told you he loves you you told him you should get back together, didn't you? Maybe you should practice love declarations until you get a better handle on them.
For you, yes, but I'll be so bored!
...but in the end? I was wrong.
27/3/14 18:35 (UTC)I'm an idiot. Maybe just the word "complicated" scared me. I want things to be simple, not complicated, but I guess being an Evans means being complicated at the core.
…STOP BEING RIGHT ABOUT STUFF. And maybe. Maybe I need to tell Jack I love him…I think I do? I'm not sure. We've been together for almost two months. That's longer than anything else. It just seems…soon. And permanent.
I wish you could come with me. You'd keep me from spinning pirouettes right into traffic, I'm sure. But you can always text and call and email me! And I'll send you a lot of pictures and buy you something nice in every state we stop in.
while deep down I just want to belong
27/3/14 18:39 (UTC)Also, I'm sorry, but I think Troy isn't just straight, he's literally just Troy and Gabriella. You never stood a chance.
Don't tell him you love him unless it feels right, Ryan. You're not going to fix things by saying something you're not sure about. Two months isn't that long, even if it seems like eternity to you by comparison.
Will do! Maybe I can be in Albuquerque around the time, depends on when exams and everything happen.
Let's face it, I'm just not that strong
27/3/14 18:44 (UTC)Oh no I absolutely agree. And I love Gabi, you know that. I wouldn't dream of breaking them up, that's like kicking a sick puppy.
It is an eternity. And what if it never feels right? What then? He's good to me, Kels. Really good…he's sweet, charming, creative, funny, good in bed, his arms are perfect, his smile is perfect, he's even nice to my sister (though I think out of politeness, but it counts.) We actually spend part of this weekend just hanging out on his couch watching movies and cuddling. CUDDLING. He's legitimately perfect so why am I still stuck on Chad? Why. I want an answer.
Try your best because I might need your help, I can't take it.
[There will then be an incoming attachment of the emails with Chad.]
I also refuse to ask Sharpay for help with Chad because I'm afraid she'll actually kill him, but. I'm lost.
Oh, Ryan...
27/3/14 18:48 (UTC)that there was no way I could ever make you dance
so when you started moving I just couldn't turn away
but you were still stuck somewhere I didn't want to stay
there will always be 'what if' on my mind
when I think of what I've left behind
just a thought but it does sting
because you could have been everything
There you go, that's it.
...<3
27/3/14 18:51 (UTC)...beautiful as usual, Kelsi. Congratulations. I want a copy of this with music when you get a chance. You know. For the road.
Can you do me a favor and just lie to me that everything's going to be fine?
<3!
27/3/14 18:54 (UTC)Everything is going to be fine, because you'll always have me.
<3!!! Seriously I don't have enough emotes to express it
27/3/14 18:57 (UTC)You're seriously the best and I stand by I'd be a huge wreck without you. Would it be too dramatic to ask you never to leave me?
I also take applause!
27/3/14 19:00 (UTC)Is the door open? Because I'm coming up the stairs.
You'll get some soon, promise
27/3/14 19:06 (UTC)Everything's open and unlocked. Come on in.