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Posted by

choreographics

KELSI CHAD JUST ASKED ME HOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO GO ABOUT LETTING A GUY KNOW HE'S INTERESTED IN DATING HIM???

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK????????

Posted by

theplaymaker

Sit down and breathe, Ryan.

Now from the start.

Posted by

choreographics

I can't. I can't breathe. Oh god I am actually hyperventilating WHY THE HELL DON'T I HAVE A PAPER BAG?!

Okay. Okay so I posted about the Hairspray tour on Facebook and he sent me an email and was all HEY would you mind seeing me when you're in town and I'm like UH DUH and then we started talking about stuff and then he mentioned he'd let me know if he needed two tickets and I sort of just ignored it because for all I know he could be bringing Troy but then he was suddenly like hey I want to ask you something but I don't know if I should and me being me was like "SURE CHAD IT'S OKAY" and then he dropped that on me.

Holy shit. I'm going to be sick. Everything is suddenly very, very wrong in the world.

Posted by

theplaymaker

Try doing some yoga exercises? I'll buy you a paper bag.

...

Do you want me to point out that you're dating Jack?

Posted by

choreographics

I'm folded into cat pose and emailing you all of this. Please send a paper bag ASAP.

...no, I know. I know. I like Jack a lot, I know. But Jack and I are kind of arguing but not really it'll be fine. Make-up sex later. This is just really, really unsettling. It's Chad...I just. That means it's really over.

Posted by

theplaymaker

I'm on my way, Ryan.

I don't know how to say this any other way. Ryan, I love you, but how did you expect it to not be really over after what you did? I'm not saying you didn't do the right thing.

Posted by

choreographics

I know, I know, I KNOW. I know. Kelsi please don't point out I'm an awful person right now I can't take it. I actually cannot emotionally take it right now.

I don't

Maybe I just thought that

I haven't seen him since Troy's party maybe I thought in person we could just

I literally just want to scream. A lot.

Posted by

theplaymaker

I don't think you're an awful person, Ryan, just not always the most considerate.

Do you actually want me to come over?

Has he actually said that there's a guy?

Posted by

choreographics

Yes, yes, and yes. Well. He implied it enough and that's good enough for Chad, so. Triple-yes.

Posted by

theplaymaker

I'll be there in half an hour then. Should I bring something aside from the paper bag?

Let's say there is no guy. What would that change?

Posted by

choreographics

Death? Ice cream? I don't know.

…I'm emailing him while I'm emailing you and he just told me there's no guy. I don't feel any different AND I just started rambling to him about bulimia.

This has been a fantastic day.

It wouldn't change anything I guess. I still feel like I just got suckerpunched which is weird because I have Jack. I shouldn't feel like this, right?

Posted by

theplaymaker

I'll bring ice cream and we can go to a practice room for your drama.

...why would you bring up bulimia? Oh, Ryan.

No, you shouldn't feel like this, but if feelings were rational I'd have nothing to write about.

You haven't changed your Facebook status, Ryan, and you were upset at Chad for not changing his.

Posted by

choreographics

You're the best.

Because I'm an idiot and I let stupid things slip I don't know Kelsi. I am freaking out.

And obviously we can't have that. Your writing's a gift to the world. I'm happy to provide new material for your songs.

…Jack and I talked about it though. Chad didn't tell me anything. That's the difference.

Posted by

theplaymaker

Maybe next time he asks if you're fine with seeing him you should say 'no'.

You're such a self-sacrificing hero! ♥

Didn't Chad change his status from single to It's Complicated? And he did tell you, it just wasn't the change you wanted to see. I bet Jack was really happy with that talk, too.

Posted by

choreographics

…but I want to see him. That's the problem. Why would I say no to that?

Thank you, thank you. Self-sacrificing, self-deprecating, it's all the same.

Yes but he did it without telling me first. Jack and I fought about it for a while at least. You know. Like a normal couple.

…my relationships are so screwed up aren't they? Did I tell you that Jack told me he loves me the other day and I said "aw, that's sweet?" Like what the fuck.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm going on tour in May.

Posted by

theplaymaker

Because he seems to kill your brain cells even without you seeing him in person.

I suspect he saw changing it as a big gesture, not the punch to the gut you felt. He's oblivious a lot.

When Chad told you he loves you you told him you should get back together, didn't you? Maybe you should practice love declarations until you get a better handle on them.

For you, yes, but I'll be so bored!

Posted by

choreographics

My sister always warned me about dating jocks that weren't Troy Bolton. Damn Gabriella for stealing him away.

I'm an idiot. Maybe just the word "complicated" scared me. I want things to be simple, not complicated, but I guess being an Evans means being complicated at the core.

…STOP BEING RIGHT ABOUT STUFF. And maybe. Maybe I need to tell Jack I love him…I think I do? I'm not sure. We've been together for almost two months. That's longer than anything else. It just seems…soon. And permanent.

I wish you could come with me. You'd keep me from spinning pirouettes right into traffic, I'm sure. But you can always text and call and email me! And I'll send you a lot of pictures and buy you something nice in every state we stop in.

Posted by

theplaymaker

This is very productive, I'm almost finished with the song.

Also, I'm sorry, but I think Troy isn't just straight, he's literally just Troy and Gabriella. You never stood a chance.

Don't tell him you love him unless it feels right, Ryan. You're not going to fix things by saying something you're not sure about. Two months isn't that long, even if it seems like eternity to you by comparison.

Will do! Maybe I can be in Albuquerque around the time, depends on when exams and everything happen.

Posted by

choreographics

See? Me having a weekly crisis is really good for everybody. You get to write songs. Sharpay sometimes gets to boss me around. It works out for everyone but me and my head.

Oh no I absolutely agree. And I love Gabi, you know that. I wouldn't dream of breaking them up, that's like kicking a sick puppy.

It is an eternity. And what if it never feels right? What then? He's good to me, Kels. Really good…he's sweet, charming, creative, funny, good in bed, his arms are perfect, his smile is perfect, he's even nice to my sister (though I think out of politeness, but it counts.) We actually spend part of this weekend just hanging out on his couch watching movies and cuddling. CUDDLING. He's legitimately perfect so why am I still stuck on Chad? Why. I want an answer.

Try your best because I might need your help, I can't take it.

[There will then be an incoming attachment of the emails with Chad.]

I also refuse to ask Sharpay for help with Chad because I'm afraid she'll actually kill him, but. I'm lost.

Posted by

theplaymaker

before I thought there would never be a chance
that there was no way I could ever make you dance
so when you started moving I just couldn't turn away
but you were still stuck somewhere I didn't want to stay

there will always be 'what if' on my mind
when I think of what I've left behind
just a thought but it does sting
because you could have been everything

There you go, that's it.

Posted by

choreographics

...

...beautiful as usual, Kelsi. Congratulations. I want a copy of this with music when you get a chance. You know. For the road.

Can you do me a favor and just lie to me that everything's going to be fine?

Posted by

theplaymaker

Only if you'll sing, Ryan.

Everything is going to be fine, because you'll always have me.

Posted by

choreographics

Like that's even a question. Maybe not right now, I think my voice might crack.

You're seriously the best and I stand by I'd be a huge wreck without you. Would it be too dramatic to ask you never to leave me?