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[theplaymaker]

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...hah. Sounds like me and Sharpay.

[choreographics]

I'm folded into cat pose and emailing you all of this. Please send a paper bag ASAP.

...no, I know. I know. I like Jack a lot, I know. But Jack and I are kind of arguing but not really it'll be fine. Make-up sex later. This is just really, really unsettling. It's Chad...I just. That means it's really over.

there's no need to take it slow when everything can be mine

[theplaymaker]

I'm on my way, Ryan.

I don't know how to say this any other way. Ryan, I love you, but how did you expect it to not be really over after what you did? I'm not saying you didn't do the right thing.

...these are new ones? I like it

[choreographics]

I know, I know, I KNOW. I know. Kelsi please don't point out I'm an awful person right now I can't take it. I actually cannot emotionally take it right now.

I don't

Maybe I just thought that

I haven't seen him since Troy's party maybe I thought in person we could just

I literally just want to scream. A lot.

leave behind whatever I don't need and keep whatever I want

[theplaymaker]

I don't think you're an awful person, Ryan, just not always the most considerate.

Do you actually want me to come over?

Has he actually said that there's a guy?

You...wrote me a theme song didn't you.

[choreographics]

Yes, yes, and yes. Well. He implied it enough and that's good enough for Chad, so. Triple-yes.

larger than life, stronger than you, unaffected, nonchalant

[theplaymaker]

I'll be there in half an hour then. Should I bring something aside from the paper bag?

Let's say there is no guy. What would that change?

I wish I knew the rest so I could sing along

[choreographics]

Death? Ice cream? I don't know.

…I'm emailing him while I'm emailing you and he just told me there's no guy. I don't feel any different AND I just started rambling to him about bulimia.

This has been a fantastic day.

It wouldn't change anything I guess. I still feel like I just got suckerpunched which is weird because I have Jack. I shouldn't feel like this, right?

the show must go on and it always will

[theplaymaker]

I'll bring ice cream and we can go to a practice room for your drama.

...why would you bring up bulimia? Oh, Ryan.

No, you shouldn't feel like this, but if feelings were rational I'd have nothing to write about.

You haven't changed your Facebook status, Ryan, and you were upset at Chad for not changing his.

I'm starting to lose my mind a little...

[choreographics]

You're the best.

Because I'm an idiot and I let stupid things slip I don't know Kelsi. I am freaking out.

And obviously we can't have that. Your writing's a gift to the world. I'm happy to provide new material for your songs.

…Jack and I talked about it though. Chad didn't tell me anything. That's the difference.

but beneath all that I am myself still

[theplaymaker]

Maybe next time he asks if you're fine with seeing him you should say 'no'.

You're such a self-sacrificing hero! ♥

Didn't Chad change his status from single to It's Complicated? And he did tell you, it just wasn't the change you wanted to see. I bet Jack was really happy with that talk, too.

And it's not a me I want to see

[choreographics]

…but I want to see him. That's the problem. Why would I say no to that?

Thank you, thank you. Self-sacrificing, self-deprecating, it's all the same.

Yes but he did it without telling me first. Jack and I fought about it for a while at least. You know. Like a normal couple.

…my relationships are so screwed up aren't they? Did I tell you that Jack told me he loves me the other day and I said "aw, that's sweet?" Like what the fuck.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm going on tour in May.

and I might act brave and try to be strong

[theplaymaker]

Because he seems to kill your brain cells even without you seeing him in person.

I suspect he saw changing it as a big gesture, not the punch to the gut you felt. He's oblivious a lot.

When Chad told you he loves you you told him you should get back together, didn't you? Maybe you should practice love declarations until you get a better handle on them.

For you, yes, but I'll be so bored!

...but in the end? I was wrong.

[choreographics]

My sister always warned me about dating jocks that weren't Troy Bolton. Damn Gabriella for stealing him away.

I'm an idiot. Maybe just the word "complicated" scared me. I want things to be simple, not complicated, but I guess being an Evans means being complicated at the core.

…STOP BEING RIGHT ABOUT STUFF. And maybe. Maybe I need to tell Jack I love him…I think I do? I'm not sure. We've been together for almost two months. That's longer than anything else. It just seems…soon. And permanent.

I wish you could come with me. You'd keep me from spinning pirouettes right into traffic, I'm sure. But you can always text and call and email me! And I'll send you a lot of pictures and buy you something nice in every state we stop in.

while deep down I just want to belong

[theplaymaker]

This is very productive, I'm almost finished with the song.

Also, I'm sorry, but I think Troy isn't just straight, he's literally just Troy and Gabriella. You never stood a chance.

Don't tell him you love him unless it feels right, Ryan. You're not going to fix things by saying something you're not sure about. Two months isn't that long, even if it seems like eternity to you by comparison.

Will do! Maybe I can be in Albuquerque around the time, depends on when exams and everything happen.

Let's face it, I'm just not that strong

[choreographics]

See? Me having a weekly crisis is really good for everybody. You get to write songs. Sharpay sometimes gets to boss me around. It works out for everyone but me and my head.

Oh no I absolutely agree. And I love Gabi, you know that. I wouldn't dream of breaking them up, that's like kicking a sick puppy.

It is an eternity. And what if it never feels right? What then? He's good to me, Kels. Really good…he's sweet, charming, creative, funny, good in bed, his arms are perfect, his smile is perfect, he's even nice to my sister (though I think out of politeness, but it counts.) We actually spend part of this weekend just hanging out on his couch watching movies and cuddling. CUDDLING. He's legitimately perfect so why am I still stuck on Chad? Why. I want an answer.

Try your best because I might need your help, I can't take it.

[There will then be an incoming attachment of the emails with Chad.]

I also refuse to ask Sharpay for help with Chad because I'm afraid she'll actually kill him, but. I'm lost.

Oh, Ryan...

[theplaymaker]

before I thought there would never be a chance
that there was no way I could ever make you dance
so when you started moving I just couldn't turn away
but you were still stuck somewhere I didn't want to stay

there will always be 'what if' on my mind
when I think of what I've left behind
just a thought but it does sting
because you could have been everything


There you go, that's it.

...<3

[choreographics]

...

...beautiful as usual, Kelsi. Congratulations. I want a copy of this with music when you get a chance. You know. For the road.

Can you do me a favor and just lie to me that everything's going to be fine?

<3!

[theplaymaker]

Only if you'll sing, Ryan.

Everything is going to be fine, because you'll always have me.

<3!!! Seriously I don't have enough emotes to express it

[choreographics]

Like that's even a question. Maybe not right now, I think my voice might crack.

You're seriously the best and I stand by I'd be a huge wreck without you. Would it be too dramatic to ask you never to leave me?

I also take applause!

[theplaymaker]

You're my male lead, Ryan, whatever would I even do without you?

Is the door open? Because I'm coming up the stairs.

You'll get some soon, promise

[choreographics]

Find someone less pretty than me? And less talented?

Everything's open and unlocked. Come on in.

I better

[theplaymaker]

I don't settle for less, I dated an Evans!

There now.

[theplaymaker]

[When Kelsi comes through the door just a few moments later, she is indeed carrying a paper bag and another bag containing ice cream.]

Do you still need the bag?

[choreographics]

[Ryan's currently alone, still in his yoga pants and a baggy dark green hooded sweater stretched into cat pose. He doesn't look up from the floor when Kelsi comes in, but there's a pathetic sort of sound.]

Yes. I still feel like I'm choking somehow.

[theplaymaker]

[She hands the bag to him wordlessly before sitting down next to him and starting to pet his hair. Only for a few moments, because then she is opening up the ice cream.]

Do you want me to tell you that there's no chance of him finding a boyfriend?